Ever thought of being a cool person? By 'cool', I mean you are capable to do something well or creatively. Whenever I am in my own world, yes, I am the coolest person of all as I can do anything I want, be anyone I want to be, and have as many things I can think of and successfully do all things right. That's how cool I am.
In reality, I am not that good. At all. However, I love hanging around with cool people. Sticking with them, makes me feel like I am somewhat cool as well, cause i know them all. It feels like a parasite hogging on it's host and try to feel their limelight. I even tend to be a copy-cat and imitate them once a while. Somehow, I feel satisfied with that. How pathetic?
But sometimes, being around them sort of demotivate myself. You see, I keep telling myself that "you can do it", "think positive" and "believe in yourself", and every time when I look at my work and compare with theirs, I feel like it's useless for me to even try. What's the point trying hard but never succeed? It's so not cool!
Sometimes, I feel like being a loner, being away from all the 'coolness' and just be myself. The most ordinary man of all, and in not far future, pick up a 9 - 6 office job and have a lifeless life. But on the other hand, I do wish I can be successful, be a photographer, be a producer, director, actor, event planner, ect. I just want to be SOMEONE like, just like how you want to be SOMEONE in the future. If, you understand what I mean that is.
Well, I hope my photography skills can be better. I hope my directing and editing can be better. I hope I can be more open minded. And I hope, I can be different!
Good night peeps!