Monday, October 13, 2008

Girls VS Guys

NOTE: This entry might offends some of you as I am going to compare *censor* & *censor* with *censor*. In other word, please stop reading if you think you can't take it and just leave the blog, and please mind your word.

Thank you. Finally, thank God ! I managed to hand in my assignment (NOT) in time and I am done ! DONE as in no need to care about it anymore ! I know I had already made some mistakes and I wish this will not affect too much on my result. At least, don't fail me please.

Why you ask, I did not manage to hand my assignment IN TIME? Well, this is due to some special circumstances, I had been distracted and delayed while preparing my assignment. So yeah, I handed in about 5 minutes after the due time. The lecturer saw me, and I wish that this will not affect my result (again). Screw the day !

Now, to the main topic. I have been thinking for the past few weeks, or perhaps, almost a month, about GIRLS. Yea, I actually think about girls, quite random right? I mean, I don't normally think about girls, I just think about myself ! Yea, a vain person indeed. Narcissistic. Self loving. But what's wrong loving yourself? If you don't love yourself, then why are you still alive then?

Let us get back to the topic today before I go too far away from the track. As I was saying, I was thinking about girls for almost a month. Why? What triggers me to think about them ? Oh well, you see, I had been eating with my course mate (a girl of course) a lot, recently and through her, I realised that some girls are just like this animal...

cow. 

Yes, cow. But why cow?
Now let me ask you a question, do you know how many stomachs does a cow have?
Answer: Four. Yes, they have freaking four stomachs if you did learn science during your primary education level.

Well, some girls (this is not in general) like to go out with someone (normally with her boyfriend) for lunch or dinner and will never able to finish her food. Telling the partner that she is full and forces the partner to finish off her food. Then, 5 minutes later, she will says "Let's go for dessert," then pull the partner straight into a dessert stall. Now you know why I say they are just like a cow?

However, some girls out there, are as hardworking as a cow ! I mean, this is not a discrimination, but I am just using the cow as an adjective, saying that girls are hardworking than the guys. Some girls can stay up for a few day WITHOUT sleeping and can be as active as usual. Me on the other hand, will straight away fall sick even if I didn't get to sleep for one night. So yea, I am not a cow ! =P

Well, this is not the end yet. Girls have so many similarity with other animals. For example, these two !

peacock & snail. 

Actually, I wanted to talk about these separately as they are two different characteristic but somehow some people just have these two characteristic in herself. It's sort of like a 2 in 1 thing so I put these 2 pictures together. Another reason is because I cant find a creature with the combination of this 2 animals. Imagine the snail with peacock's tail or peacock with the snail's head... OKAY! This is wrong, this is SO WRONG ! Stop imagining !

Anyway, some girls are just like the peacock, look nice outside, nothing inside. Yes, you do look pretty, but how can you not know how to flush the toilet? What I mean is, there are girls outside (not in general) who don't know how to do the simplest thing in the world but they just look pretty, and their 'function' are just like the vase at home.

Being slow is something what girls (again, not in general) like to do most. I mean, if you are going out for some wedding dinner, go ahead ! Go make up, dress up and look pretty. But hello~ If you are going to the night market just to buy five apples, do you need to make up and dress up as if you are going for a fashion show? Causing the whole wide world to wait for you ?!

I have girlfriends like that. And the only thing I can do is to keep quiet.

And about the... combination creature, I don't think I want to further explain about it. You just go ahead and try to imagine la !

Okay, next animal ! Hahaha, I am just enjoying it. Luckily some girls do agree with my theory, otherwise I guess I will get a lot of complain comments later. Anyways, the animal you guys are wonder next will be...

tigress.

ROAR ! The tigress ! And my mom falls into this category. Girls like this, they are fierce, brave, caring and loving ! And I like them the most, even though sometimes I just can't stand their attitude. For instance, my mom came out with a new ruling at home (the Sam Rule), which I will talk about it sometime later. She is fierce sometimes and you will not want to mess with her when she gets mad. However, it is all because she loves and cares about you. Awww~ what a lovely character.

crow.

Hmmm, what do you normally hear when a crow is nearby you? Imagine a hundred of them gather together. Just imagine the volume of voice they can produce. You will know why I put this animal here without much explanation. It's just too obvious.


End discussion.


Now, let's talk about the guys. There is this characteristic I hated the most and one of the closest person in my life actually falls into this category. Let's see.


bull.

Different from the cow. The bull is somehow like the most stubborn animal I can think of, at least I do think that my dad is a bull sometimes for not listening to my explanation and just do whatever he thinks he is right, including "killing" us slowly with his cigarette. Guys (not in general) are stubborn and never accept advices or corrections due to the egoism within themselves.

Plus, guys love bull-shitting. Of course, I am not one of them =)

fox.

Look at the face. Evil, cunning, unfaithful. There are guys like that you know? Back stabbers are consider in this category. Some actually make use of you, to help them, as you are their "meant to be used" friend. Some will just tell you that you are his best friend then when you turn around, he will point his middle finger at you which you will never know about it. Some, they just treat you like shit. And gives lame excuses for being bad? I don't know. I hated foxes, however I THINK I am one of them. Hahaha ! Kidding~

Anyway, the final characteristic I hated the most will be this.

ghost.

Yea ! Ghost ! Who haunt you down whenever you became their target. Someone who pops out suddenly and scares the hell out of you. Someone who always annoys you but never know he himself is annoying... someone who... Hey, wait a minute, a ghost is not an animal. Why din't you tell me earlier? Let me change another picture.

fly.

Now, that's more like it. Just like a fly, annoying and disgusting. Wonders around you, and never forgets to piss you off. Hahaha ! What? Fly is an insect? Oh, excuse me, so sorry about it, I shall change the picture again.

wolf.

Now, am I right this time? A wolf is an animal ! And it's most suitable to describe a guy when he sees a female character walking around his "radared" area. Muahahaha ! 

FYI, I am not a wolf  =)
Enjoy reading and please don't curse me. Good night.

2 inner voice(s):

Xie Bin said...

haha! what a looonnnggg post! true indeed! but... i actually didn't know that cows have 'freaking four stomachs'! i think i didn't pay attention when my science teacher said, "class, cows have 4 freaking stomachs, ok? remember that, 4 freaking ones."

i just imagined a snail with peacock feathers, looks kinda pretty in cartoon form leh. woots!

now i know you like what kind of girls... roar!!!

and when you say you think you're one of the foxes, i can imagine you pointing middle fingers behind people's backs already.

i hope i am none of what you've mentioned, all seems not nice at all. haha!

Darren said...

Ermm somebody is pursuing you?