Yea, the pathetic feeling came back again. So sudden, and I can't handle it well now. I guess she is right, I can't keep things all to myself. He is right too, I need to let it out sometimes. I always think that I can handle it well, at least I thought, deep down in my mind, there is this big locker where I can keep all my 'Secret Folders' there, and it's 100% safe from being revealed.
I even thought that I can 'keep and forget', making sure everything is safe, and continue doing this from time to time till the right time to be revealed or perhaps, keep it as a secret and bring it along with me into my grave. But I am wrong.
I am human, I have feelings, and my mind don't work like a computer, it seems like my problems are not easy to be controlled anymore. I feel like screaming from time to time, and I am afraid I will go crazy one day.
"Share you problems with someone you trust", perhaps someone will suggest that to me, but it is always easy to say than to execute it. I don't mind sharing it with someone I trust, but problem is, who is the 'someone I trust'? I don't think I have one now. I have this invisible wall between myself and my friends, I can hardly trust anyone with my own troubles.
I rather keep it to myself than sharing it with whoever, unless I really found that particular 'person that I trust'. I am so freaking tired now. A can of beer already went into my stomach and with such low tolerance to alcohol, I am feeling a bit unstable now.
Crap. I forgot to contact the uncle to make sure he comes on this Sunday. Otherwise, the whole even will be doomed without the PA system since it's a LEO style singing competition.
That's all for now, I suppose. I just hope I can get over with it as soon as possible.
3 inner voice(s):
Hey.
Unless you freaking killed someone, it can't be a secret that's too big for your friends. How trustworthy must they be, anyway?
this pic looks very cute. ;p
I used to be like you lo, solve all the problems all by myself. Try to find a friend or two, the one that you can really trust. Talk to them. You'll feel better. Really, cause sometimes they give you some other opinions. The third party's angle.
Take care.
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