Friday, November 7, 2008

Reflection


This time, I am seriously sad. Feel very down and not in the mood for anything. However, assignments still have to be done and I can foresee myself with deep dark panda eyes. I am going to find ways to reduce the panda eyes problem during the holiday.

I don't know. I just feel kinda bored and exhausted with my current life. Quite sick being the shadow of other people, but I realised I can't really live on my own, that's the ironic part.

Yes, people do say life is like roller coaster as it fills with ups and downs but I found out that my life is not that challenging. At least not as challenging as those who are in my age. Now I feel like I am a physically 19-year-old but mentally 9-year-old super ultra ordinary college kid with nothing much interesting in life. Thanks to the protections given.

Now I feel like cutting myself away from people, isolating myself, being just me, alone. But of course this is not possible to be done. As I know I will go psycho if I really, seriously and totally stop communicating with others or stop myself from using the net. I just can't. So only my phone will be shut down these few days.

I can't help but to agree with the point I raised long time ago. That if you want to survive in this cruel world, you must have this three special element: Money, Look, Power. Without these special element, it's kinda hard to stay in this reality society. Besides that, you must not be too nice to anyone as they will make use of your "niceness", and take you for granted. Plus, you must be smart in playing with tactics to archive anything in life. 

Too bad. I am not such person. Not special elements, and neither good in playing with tactics. So I will never survive in the realities. I need to change, for the better of course. However, being too nice, is my biggest weakness. Sometimes, I don't even know whether am I doing the right thing or not, for being so nice and knowing people are taking it for granted.


Tell me my fellow readers. I am not good in writing, at least not as good as those famous blogger. What makes you stay, read and comment on my blog?

Let's talk about Friendster. Before this I put a picture or myself, which is not quite attractive and after a few months no one add me or message me, nothing. But when i changed to other better looking picture, there will be people adding me up once in a blue moon and keep telling me that I am handsome and interested to know me more. You see, look's important !

Prove me wrong if you don't agree.

So sorry, the mood of writing had gone. I am kinda lost and don't feel like writing more already. Enjoy your day.




------------------------------(updated)------------------------------


For your information I don't like (or more like don't know how) to download movies, videos, musics whatever it is, I just don't download. And now since I am having a major mood swing, can anyone please tell me where can I find soft, sentimental, blue, emo kind of songs? I prefer those soft music or songs which somehow you can only listen it while you are on the way to heaven, peaceful. Sorry for the exaggeration. Uncertain why, I think these songs manage to clean and heal my wound, and I just like it. Examples of songs probably like Gregorian's Close My Eyes Forever or Enya's Everning Falls. These are my kind of genre. So can anyone help? Perhaps you can send it through MSN or something?

15 inner voice(s):

raeshad said...

jay chan XD

hope you won't get bored @ annoyed with my rantings.

as per the money, looks, and power thing?

it's true to some extent, but you do have to remember that that's not all what people are always about.

you said something about friendstering. that's how online networking works right? but they're just that. your network of 'people'. NOT friends.

your friends are your real circle of social friends. not some cyber ppl XD

and last but not least, why oh why did i keep reading ur blog? because it's interesting that's why.

i love the pictures you took [even though i didn't particularly commented any one of them], but i really do like them :D

and i really just do love reading other ppl's lives.

i've been ranting off.

bye, and hope u'll recover XD

hy said...

hi jc, I can agree with u that look is quite important. But why do u have to burden yourself thinking that u must be good looking, with lots of money and with powers in order to be happy? Be who you are and do what you love to do, then you will be happy. And hey, life is short. You can only be 19 yrs old once. I just realise it not long ago and I'm now 21 yrs old, I regret that I didn't live my life to the fullness when I was 18/19. I told myself that I've to at least try everything since I only live once. Life can be quite tough when u are dealing with your finals. But when it is over, you'll feel differently. Oh, this is the 1st time I comment. Well done to myself! :D

Anonymous said...

Hello JC, it's me again.. Calista here!
Well, i agreed with you that money, looks n power is important esp in this reality world now but the most "important" is.. whether or not if u're using it wisely?
Some ppl may have all these criterias but may not be able to use it wisely n whereby others may not have these but they're hunger for it.
Just imagine if i can change money into relationship, looks into inner beauty n power into being yourself. Then i'll rather want relationship, inner beauty n being myself.
Money cant buy relationship as u've often heard b4, inner beauty will speaks louder n u'll be able to know it clearly as u step into maturity in life n nothing compares to being myself is better.
Sometimes life can be so dull n blur until u may not realized other good stuff is happening in the brighter side of the world. Sometimes all we need to do is takes time to think of wat u have n blessed by others n wat makes u to become the person u are now. There's always a saying, "Life is so short".. n yet we need to count our blessings in our daily lives so that it can maximize our life purpose on earth.
Oh well, I cant believe that i can be so naggy with all my grandmother's story.. btw, u don have to post this comment up cos it's just my personal perception n of course, hope that u'll be encouraged n not be discouraged!
So, Cheer up n Heads up my Fren! =)

JC said...

Somehow, I need to reply comments here as I can't really access into one of the blog and I need permission to post the comment up from a non-blogger.

Calista: Thanks for the comment and long message you left me. It's not a grandmother story and I appreciate much ! I am facing some problems now indeed but don't worry I will be fine. The reason I replying you here is also to get your permission to post your comment out. I hope it's fine to do so, even though it's your personal comment.

hy: Thanks for commenting for the first time here. I appreciate your comment too and since I am not an invited reader, I can't reply you in your blog. Anyways, about living life to the fullness, I am trying too actually. But I am quite restricted by my parents and can't really do much for it. But I believe somehow in the future, I will be having another life and will enjoy it. Thanks again for the comment, I shall be fine in no time.

Raeshad: Thanks to you too ! Giving me so much advices, a long one. Haha, anyways, I think I am wrong about getting "friends" from those social network website. But don't worry. I think I will be fine about my problem. Normally it will just take a few days for me to think properly and chill about it. Thanks man !

Felix said...

I agree wif u abt the Money, Look and Power thing! But dun be too frustrated about these issues cos in some situations they are not important at all.
For ur friendster thing, im totally not agree! That is such a stupid thing to use it as a judge that u r good-looking so u hav more frens! U must hv confidence! Hey! u are a model wannabe le! Where is ur confidence! Whenever a person hav the confidence, that is the good looking one! 加油!
Hope u can finish ur assignments in time!
..PrinceFelix..

Darren said...

well you already got 1 of those-'looks'.

It happens once in a while to everyone, mood swings that is. Try going for holiday with your friends or try something new.

raeshad said...

hey you...

am not so sure about the music thingy coz usually, what i listens to, doesn't always receive the thumbs up from everyone. my sister always says i've weird taste in music. but i do listen to Enya's...

if u visit my blog, u can see some tunes that i upload there. if you do like to listen to them, i'll gladly send you some.

and p/s: there's this Sad Songs Channel in youtube, which is marvellous. you don't have to download anything, but the channel is kinda good.

me xD

Xie Bin said...

i also feel like that occasionally, so i just do something i enjoy doing to get rid of the thought, or just laze around on my bed when that happens! are you still seriously sad? or recover already?

"soft music or songs which somehow you can only listen it while you are on the way to heaven, peaceful." wow... i love this kind of music too. :p but cannot listen to them all the time, if not will emo. :p

nase said...

Hey JC,

Sorry took me so long to post something in reply. Well, look at the legion of support you had. That's really encouraging and say something abt you. Frankly I don't have much to add on because practically everything been covered well.

Do take the time and this portal as means to vent off, it's therapeutic.

I hope you're outta blues by now.

Take care

Cheers!

tw said...

Maybe u're facing a lot of problems now. I don't know. But do always look around. Look things at a brighter side. Even if your world is really that sad, don't be. Cause u still have friends like me around. =). Jika mahu emo talk sila dial nombor saya. =D

Ah-Bong said...

i...
agree with what u said.
looks money power.
but i have none
so i'm pretty much ordinary
but i'm happy
just live life as it is.
thre are still the little things u can cherish for.
cheers. ;)

Honghongtan said...

money, looks, and power is IMPORTANT but i believe not everyone is born to have all of them

BUT BUT BUT !!!

we can have them !!!
we just have to work hard no ?

work hard to earn money and gain power,
look can be changed in loads of ways,
i believe u know what i mean.

but these 3 elements are not the only thing that is important,
love is.

i believe u have family and friends that loves u,
they concern they worry about u.

for the being too nice case,
argh ! i'm trying to change too !
always kena bully sia ! HAHA !

what makes me stay ?
i don't know~
maybe ma sampat-ness made it ?

life's short,
stand up and move on!
i believe u can JC,
u can =)

Liyi said...

Hey, I have something to say regarding your post. I hope I am not offensive here but there's certain thing tht you should look back on yourself and think again. Yes, people might tell you money, look, power is important, if I am here to deny tht, I might sound like a hypocrite to you, but the thing is, why must you be so conscious on all these! People choose the way they live, regarding like wht you say on ppl add you more when you post a nicer pic or wht, was it tht important for you to prove tht you have more friends? Or wht matters is out of so many friends you have in them, which are them are true to you? How many really liaise with you? There are ppl in this world tht they don't have look nor power, but they still live in a good condition tht is because they are contented! You will forever asking for more and more and more as long as you never find where are your barriers in things? What you really want? Is not the place tht is dull, is how the person live tht makes it interesting, you shine your own life! You might have your point, but I guess you see it from a wrong angle.

nicky said...

hi,

I just want to say, if people want to become "friends" because of how you look, those are so NOT the kind of people you'd want to know and worth being pals with.

also, being nice is not wrong nor is it bad. just have to play a little smart these days.

*Anton* aka BCT said...

Harlo, my 1st time into your site... which I found to be very sincere with nice touches of humility. Kudos!

It's definitely good to be nice. I've learnt my lesson tho, ppl tend to really wanna take advantage. So, I'm still nice :) but I know and hv set my limits.

Take care dude! :)